Of course, the autocorrect feature on our smartphones is nothing new, but the quick fixes reveal that there’s a special language here at Duke. Our shared language here at Duke goes beyond your classic acronyms like “lol” and “fomo”, but instead autocorrect as a Dukie fixes your randomly typed letters, from “vondy” to “wns” to “perk”. If I sent a text including any of those three to a friend who didn’t go here, all I’d probably receive back in the next text would be a “?”. So, let’s talk about learning the Duke language.
What better place to learn the Duke language than the Urban Dictionary definition of Duke University.
- Duke University (n) a group of undergrads who believe that they are better than you, because they actually are. Ex. I go to Duke University. What? You don’t go to Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Stanford or Duke? You’re a moron.
- Duke University (n) one of the most selective and prestigious universities in the world. Ranked top 5 in the nation by US Newsweek. Famous for its men’s basketball team and academic reputation. Notorious for the lacrosse scandal and low racial interaction. Filled with school spirit, rich new england jocks and lots of alcohol.
Although these definitions reflect duke to some extent, their accuracy still is questionable. In an attempt to offer a proper definition of our school, I’ll give you the definitions of everything that makes it up. Here’s your Duke dictionary.
Shoots (n) saloon (yes, a saloon, Durham is- or thinks it is- Southern enough that it actually has a mechanical bull) for Duke students, most popular on Wednesday and Saturday nights; sweaty dance floor of drunk people making out, you say its not worth the $5 yet somehow you end up there every week…
- Ex. Sam: yeah, we met at shoots and have been texting ever since Sally: so you found love in a hopeless place?
- See “WNS”.
Perk/ the Perk (n) undergraduate library; half social-scene, half actually used for students trying to finish their work, depending on where they sit.
- Ex. I just spent an hour on first floor Perk with Jessica and she spent the entire time on Buzzfeed. Pretty sure she just came to try and see if the lax team was there.
- See “Bo”, “Lower Bo”.
Vondy (n) coffee shop on first floor Perk offering the most average coffee on campus, awkward size pre-packaged snacks, the legendary cheese and hummus plates, etc. Used as a perfect excuse to take a break during long nights of cramming work in at Perk. Also used as a place to socialize and not finish any work at all.
JVG (n) more ~hipster~ and ~alternative~ coffee shop on campus, located on the BC plaza. Go there to get a drink, snack, or feel pretentious ordering other fancy beverages.
BC (n) the Bryan Center. Pretty sure it’s regarded as the Union, or center for Duke Student Affairs or something official like that, but really it’s just the BC. Home to a ton of random offices for Duke Students groups/ clubs/ student government/ DUU, ABP, the bookstore, a theatre, and, unfortunately (due to the smell) Panda Express.
- Ex. I once found a slug in my meal from Panda Express, so now I always enter the BC from the door by the bookstore instead of the one next to Panda.
Fuqua (n) the business school. Consistently ranked as one of the top business schools in the nation. Fuqua students can be seen invading Shoots on Saturday night and hitting on undergraduate girls.
- Ex. Rebecca: Omg he keeps looking over here. Should I go talk to him he’s kind of cute? Julia: Rebecca, he’s a 30-year-old Fuqua student. No.
LDOC (event) stands for last day of classes, celebrated when classes end on a Wednesday in the spring semester, but is basically just one huge student party that the Duke administration is chill enough to let happen every year. You can thank DUU for that, as one of the major committees of the student union. The day starts with students sneaking mixed drinks or beers into their 10:05 and continuing on until the nighttime concert. Girls use it as their excuse to put on a sundress and caption their photos “it’s a marathon not a sprint.” Everyone celebrates LDOC. Even that engineer you’ve never seen lower than fourth floor Perk will probably be holding a beer in hand. If that’s not campus bonding I don’t know what is.
KVille (n) abbreviation for the field in front of Wilson Gym and next to Cameron Indoor Stadium named after the coach, Mike Krzyzewski. KVille is the sacred spot where truly dedicated basketball fans camp out to get into the legendary Duke-UNC rivalry game. Everyone knows, GTHC. Our blue is better.
- See “Cameron”, “Coach K”, “DDMF”, “Crazies”, “Tenting”.
DDMF (n) abbreviation for Duke Dynasty Mother F^@&er. Were you expecting that? Feel free to reply back with what you thought this meant.
- See “Crazies”, “Tenting”.
GTHC (n) abbreviation to explain our better blue, and in our school’s fight song at the top of our lungs “Carolina go to hell! EAT SHIT!” Yes. Please take a moment to acknowledge we sing/scream “eat shit” in our fight song. So GTHC is just a re-wording of that- go to hell Carolina. But you never say it just once. GTHC GTH!
MP (n) that really impressively nice cafeteria that recently got a face lift on East Campus and now has an alternative grass/weeds wall in the back. Ok. Freshmen are required to eat there, given their meal plans that builds in swipes for unlimited breakfast and dinner. Aka, freshmen hate it after eating the grilled chicken every night and binging on unlimited dessert, and upperclassmen want nothing more than to be swiped in for some all you can eat binging. Here’s a place to run into all the baby freshmen on campus, realize that student athletes have the most incredible diet, and make friends with the workers who can hopefully sneak you something from the back when you want it. Shout out to the frozen yogurt machine, still unclear if that’s actually frozen yogurt.
So then, what’s Duke, you ask? It’s that gothic looking campus down south in Durham, North Carolina, that we’ve come to call home. Duke is endless hours in the library to die hard basketball fans to unforgettable nights (that we might not always remember) ending in the sweatiness of the saloon we all love to hate. Duke is coming together to make change and meeting a new friend on the bus, all the while finding out that she too, is going to forge a future that is nothing short of incredible. But even then, a simple definition still won’t do this university full justice because Duke is probably one of the most unique, incomparable places to ever be.