Sex Confessions… Round 2

Even better than the first

The Dirty Devil | The Rival | March 1, 2016

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“My freshman year, I had a threesome with two teammates/best friends. When I was approaching climax, one of the guys proceeded to loudly hype up his boy (who was doing all the work). Two guys congratulating and high-fiving each other over my naked body was hilarious, but definitely killed my O.”

-Bang bang (literally) duke gang

“Had sex with a tampon in. Had to go to student health to have it taken out.”

-a bloody good time

I matched with this really cute guy on Tinder, but the first time we hooked up he finished insanely fast. Like, under a minute fast. Figuring that he had been nervous, I decided to give the dude another chance. This time, he finished EVEN FASTER. He got flustered and apologized: “Sorry, this happens every time I cheat on my girlfriend.” 

30 days Tinder sober

“I always heard rumors of this happening and really wanted to give it a try. My girlfriend at the time and I were having sex and I came on her stomach. I then told her to bear with me because I was about to do something really weird. I proceeded to dip my thumb into my own cum and draw a line on her forehead with my jizz, whispering “Simbaaaaa”. She didn’t take very kindly to the notion. We broke up soon after.”


I was hooking up with a guy I met at shooters and things were getting a little bit heated. He proceeded to whip it out and I swear I almost passed out. It was huge! I was so terrified that I ran back to my dorm. I was hoping I would never see him again but he joined an organization I’m involved in recently and now I can’t attend meetings anymore.”

-Tiny Tunnel Tina

“It was second semester of my sophomore year, and I had been seeing this girl regularly for 2 months. We had sex as often and as much as we could. Things were getting serious, and one day I decided to take her out for dinner at Elmo’s, and then “desert” follow quickly after. We didn’t make it out of the Blue Zone before we doing it doggy-style in the backseat. It had been maybe five minutes, and we decided to switch positions. Reverse cowgirl to be exact. About 10 bounces in, and her head hit the roof of my car, sending her pelvis awkwardly slamming down on my penis. I heard a snap, followed by immense pain. I’ve never cried in front of a girl before, but that night, I was all tears. She snapped my dick. Making a sharp left turn, my penis looked like bendy straw. We immediately stopped, and she drove me to the ER. The doctor prescribed ice and “anti-boner” pills. It took six weeks to fully heal, and still isn’t as straight as it was. My friends never found out, though they questioned my slow pace when walking to class. To this day, the girl and I are still dating, though cars and confined areas are not on our naughty lists.”

The Left-Wang Democock

“Got black out in a dirty blue tent and ending up having a six way with closest friends in k-ville.”

-your friendly k-ville neighbor

“He was in a wheelchair.”

-do it for the story?

When a guy I was with went to get a condom, I told him he wasn’t going to need it. He seemed really happy and I was confused. Turns out that he thought I meant we could have sex without the condom, but I meant that we weren’t going to have sex. Specific communication is important.”

Quickly clarified misunderstanding

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