Sex Confessions: Round 3

The real "Duke Difference"

The Dirty Devil | The Rival | March 3, 2016

  • Copied

You can’t make this shit up, people. Welcome to the third and raunchiest edition of #RivalConfessions.


Had sex in a hospital bed in the ER and the nurse walked in while I was blatantly riding him.”

-ER Erotica

Before Midnight Breakfast my freshman year, my two friends and I all decided to eat pot brownies and give each other massages….that ended up getting a little bit more intimate than we were expecting. We didn’t end up making it out, but rather making out (and more), all together, high out of our minds. It was amazing.”

-Brownies for Three

When I first started having sex, I would queef ALL THE TIME! I would try to make a joke about it every time… Until I ran out of jokes.”

-Scuse me

“My favorite kind of food is pizza. So sometimes I like to eat pizza after going out. Sounds reasonable, right? Sometimes I ‘d even rather eat pizza than hook up. Also, feels very understandable. I mean, who doesn’t like to late night? But so when I get those annoying, weird booty call texts, ladies we all know what those are like, I like to make it interesting. I’ll pretend like I’m all interested, replying with all the right emojis, and once I get to their place, I’ll suggest ordering some pizza. I think that’s a pretty fair trade-off. We’ll do some foreplay for sure, but once the pizza comes, I’m all business. I’ll wait til the guy goes to the bathroom or leaves the room, and bam I’ll hightail it outta there with the pizza box, leaving the guy alone and pizza-less. I’m a grad student, so this hasn’t happened much here, but during undergrad, I developed a pretty funny nickname after awhile and had to stop before it got too out of hand… XOXO”

-The Pizza Bandit

I was making out with a guy and he took off my bra in literally .5 seconds and I was not about it. When I went to put my bra back on, he said, “Can I have more time with them?” as if my boobs were a separate entity from the rest of me.”

-The answer was no

While getting blown by a guy in the Duke Gardens over the summer, I got mosquito bites on my scrotum. #itchybutworthit

-The hoe you don’t expect

A few weeks ago I (male) went over for my usual visit to my hookup buddy’s apartment. Both of us having been hammered from the night we were coming back from, we knew it would be kinky and great. Usual foreplay happening, starting in the living room that is right across from the main door. Things got carried away fast and we started 69’ing. Being on my back, I saw something out of the corner of my eye and put my head back to see what it was, and it was her (also very attractive and very drunk) roommate watching, smiling, and taking her clothes off. She came right in and started licking my fuck buddy’s ass while I ate her out. I started fingering her, she brought a purple studded vibrating dildo over with a ton of lube and slid it in the fuck buddy’s ass with her mouth, and started fucking it while moving to sit on my face. After almost ten minutes or so, she moved over to the other side and both of were blowing me while fingering each other. My fuck buddy then moved back and started eating her roommate’s ass and fucking her with the same purple dildo while the roommate had been giving me the best head of my life. Still in the living room, her third roommate and roommate’s boyfriend walk in on us (also drunk as hell), and the three of us start laughing. The couple said “fuck it”, and started getting themselves on right next to us, eventually engaging in an oily, toy filled, intermingled five person orgy of everyone except the two guys fucking each other. We kept it going for THREE HOURS! And after that, we all hit a bong together butt ass naked until we fell asleep in our respective beds for the night. Great night, going to definitely try to go there again soon.”


I was having sex with a girl and pulled out, so she resorted to giving me a handjob while I was on top to finish me off. Right before the fireworks went off, I looked her in the eyes and said ‘You’re about to have a mess on your hands.’ And she did.”

Clean up on aisle you

One night after a party, this guy spent 30 minutes trying to convince me he was a TA for my economics class, and he told me he would give me an A if I went home with him. I eventually looked up my TAs on blackboard and saw he wasn’t listed. I went home with his best friend who was with him instead.”

-Not so Easy A

I once fucked a bitch in some gucci flip-flops.”


We’ve received over 100 confessions so far! Keep sending them in, and we’ll keep publishing!